Never Let You Go

Last week was a particularly tough week for me.  Without going into details my week started with an attack on Facebook, then my birthday and Thanksgiving (which are always tough without Chris), and it ended with a second attack on Facebook.  For the record, the attacks were literally related (father/daughter).  It was shocking and evil.  It left me with many sleepless nights, lots of tears, and even more doubt.

I began to doubt my path.  Maybe I was doing it all wrong.  Maybe there was truth in what was said.  It weighed so heavily on my heart that I wrestled nightly as I laid in the dark attempting to sleep.  I have known from the beginning that I was not taking the popular path.  I knew that I might face criticism, but I also knew that this was the path I needed to take for the health of my family...and more importantly for the glory of my God.

So last week God spoke to me by bringing me that old song by Twila Paris, "The Warrior is a Child".  I listened to that song and just wept.  He always speaks to me through songs and this one hit the nail right on the head.

Last night I was feeling particularly burdened and feeling in a way I cannot really fully describe.  It was just a heavy, heavy feeling that I could not shake.  As I went through today reading for my "Transforming Conflict and Crisis in Ministry" course, I was pulling out bits and pieces of the reading that really spoke to my situation.  It is always interesting to me how my life seems to match the course I am currently taking.  Makes me want to choose my courses more wisely!  (lol)  I was feeling better, but I still couldn't shake that heaviness.  Then it happened.  I was driving home after taking Mary to her D-Group and God gave me another song...and yet again, it was perfect.  I'm going to italicize the words that really got me...

"Never Let You God" - Manafest

When you're awake and you can't believe your eyes
Cause all the truth that you knew has turned to lies
When you're scared and you can't see past a day
Remember who holds tomorrow
Know his love will light your way

Hold on when everything is shaking
Stand strong when the ground is falling through
Reach out to my hand in the darkness
That's holding you

I'll be your peace in the waiting
Your strength when you're broken on the floor
Hold on, it's all worth fighting for
Cause I will never let you go
I will never let you go

When you look in the mirror and you run away
Cause all you see are the scars from yesterday
When the parade goes by and you feel alone
Never lose hope to sorrow
You're closer than you know

Hold on when everything is shaking
Stand strong when the ground is falling through
Reach out to my hand in the darkness
That's holding you

I'll be your peace in the waiting
Your strength when you're broken on the floor
Hold on it's all worth fighting for
Cause I will never let you go
I will never let you go

When the road is hard and your faith is shaken
Never look back on the steps you're taking
You're more to me than you could ever know

Hold on when everything is shaking
Stand strong when the ground is falling through
Reach out to my hand in the darkness
I'm holding you

I'll be your peace in the waiting
Your strength when you're broken on the floor
Hold on it's all worth fighting for
Cause I will never let you go...
I will never let you go
I will never let you go...

You're more to me than you could ever know.