Boldly Going

I have been encouraged to be bold and clear in what I am attempting to do and what I need to accomplish my goals. So this post is me boldly going forth and letting you know what I need. First off I need to state that I am completely without income at this moment. I was watching my friends girls, but with them going back to school I am no longer needed. I am thankful for the time I had with them and for the income that was provided. It is time for a new season, though.

There are things that I am attempting to do to make some income. I am having a big Blessings Unlimited party on September 23rd and I'm praying that I'll make some good money then. I am also still accepting placenta encapsulation clients, but it has been slow going. I am also hoping to have some playsilks dyed in time for Christmas orders. I am also still working for my friend's church doing their monthly calendar and maintaining their website. It is a just a bit, but it all helps. And of course, I always have Shaklee that I am always working on. All these things are sources of possible income, but not steady in the least.

After much prayer and discussion with people I really respect I have decided it isn't in my best interest to pursue a job outside of the house at this moment. My reasoning is that I will be finished with my bachelors degree in December (of this year) and at the same time will be starting my masters degree. I am actually beginning a class (Greek) in October that will work toward my bachelors and my masters. See, even in my classes I'm trying to be frugal! Two for one!

If I "bite the bullet" and work full-time at my studies, I will be able to finish in about one year. This will allow me to begin looking into teaching at the college level and making a decent income for my family. I will at some point begin a doctrate program, but that will be after I am already employed.

If I work outside of the home then I will have to slow down my education and it will take me at least two years to finish. This just doesn't seem like the best choice under the circumstances. Even if, by some miracle, Chris comes home sooner than we think, I still need to carry the family financially. He will not be able to get a job right away. It is extremely important to me to be able to do this to honor Chris and my girls...and of course to honor God.

Chris worked very hard for our family and I am fighting to not lose what we have built. We've lost a lot physically (independence, cars, savings, etc), but we still have each other. The physical stuff can be rebuilt and that's what I want to do. I also would like to point out that we have gone almost a year without needing major help. I even recently took out student loans that I was going to be able to stretch until the end of December. All that money was eaten up when my car (which my mother-in-law is giving to me) needed major repairs. I had to do it and trust that God would provide what I need in the future.

Before I go into what I need I wanted to update you all on what the kids are doing. We are still homeschooling. I understand that some people do not understand this decision, but it is what is best for our family. Every year we re-evaluate and this is the clear answer for us right now. They have been blessed with dance classes that include a lot of other homeschooled kids. Mary will be in chorus again. We are meeting new people and having a wonderful time. The girls are doing classes online (Hannah is doing pre-school at the dining room table) and they are doing very well. I think that now that the stress of the trial and the initial shock of Chris being taken from us has calmed down enough to allow them to settle in and grow. I'm excited to see what God has in store for them this year.

Now, let me explain my budget...

Cox Communications - $53 (Internet bill. This is important for schooling and any business I might get.)

Sprint PCS - $158 (Cell phones. Mary pays me part of her babysitting money for her phone. The bills feels too high for us, but they have said that they cannot change it. This is the agreement we entered into when Chris was still here and he used his phone a lot for business. I'm stuck with it until April.)

GTL - $100 (This is for phone calls from Chris. We try very hard to budget to stay under this amount, but for those who don't know...I love, love, love talking with my husband. He is my very best friend and these phone calls are my lifelines. I'm not sure I could go without (tears come to my eyes just typing this).)

Expenses not covered by food stamps - $100-200 (Depending on the month and what the kids might need. I need to pay for detergent, Pull-Ups, wipes, shampoo, conditioner, soap, cleaning supplies, computer printer ink, clothing, etc. I'm a fairly cheap person, so I do my best to make my money stretch in this area. I do a lot of shopping at Trader Joe's and Costco. We also do very well shopping at Target and Old Navy.)

J-Pay - $50 (This is something I did before, but not sure I can continue. It is so that Chris can get things like shampoo, soap, razors, etc. Believe it or not the prison does not give him much.)

BethEl Ballet - $50 (For Mary. All other dance expenses are covered.)

Horse Lessons (Equestricise) - $400 (for ten lessons) (This is something I was able to do for awhile, but our lessons end at the end of October. I will not be able to pay for more. This was for Mary and was being used as therapy for her.)

The girls have been given free lessons at Dance 4 Joy. I want to do something to thank her, so I am looking for new students for her. Look up www.dance4joy.info. Miss. Christy has been such a blessing to us.

I also try to give my parents some money as I can. They have paid for so much that it is important for me to give what I can. My goal right now is to give them about 10% of whatever I earn. I wish I could do more.

My goal is to be able to care for my families expenses as well as help out my parents. I would like my mom to be able to retire, so I'm praying that in the next two years I will be bringing in enough income to allow her to do that.

OH! And I just found out I need $90 in order to petition to graduate! Golly! If it's not one thing it's another!

At this point I have been unable to go out to see Chris. I had to get my car fixed, registration in order, and I must have enough money for gas and eating. We are not allowed to bring in our own food, so we have to eat the food they offer. I also need to be sure I am dressed according to their guidelines. Any of you who have seen me have probably noticed that I do not have a variety of clothes to chose from. I do have some newer things that I was able to get, but they are mostly cool weather items that will be to warm to wear right now to the prison. So that is something else I need to figure out. For those who are worried about communication with Chris, we talk with him several times a day. They are the most important phone calls we will ever have. The girls talk with him and I get to talk with him. It makes him feel very close and melts the distance between us. I also try to send him cards every so often and I send him a calendar of our activities so he can be aware of our lives. It is what I can do under the circumstances. Of course I want to be up there every weekend to hug him and visit with him, but that's not where we are right now. He understands and doesn't hold this against us. We will see him soon and even more we are trusting that he will be home soon.

Now, I understand that there are those of you who simply cannot help me financially. Please do not worry! I am sending this to a bunch of people because I know that prayer is powerful and that if you can join me in praying over these needs then that is better than anything. But, I want to ask those who might be able to help if you be willing to help out my family.

I despise asking for help. Although as I stated before, I need to fight for my family and if that means I need to humble myself and ask, then so be it. I'm working hard to earn my degree and I will be working harder as the year progresses. I am teaching my children and working hard to care for their needs.

Sometimes it really does take a village and that is hard for me because I've really been so independent minded. I'm not sure where to go from here. I've laid it out for you and I know there is so much more I could write, but for now I feel like this is enough. I am so sorry I even have to write this. God is good and I am writing this prayerfully.

Thank you, friends.

(Update: I have enough to almost pay my Sprint bill and a friend has offered to send me Good-Nites and wipes every other month. Praise God!)