Seeing Chris

The hotel has been booked and we are going to see Chris this coming weekend.  My parents are paying for the hotel, although it makes me very sad that they have to pay that money.  They have helped me so much already.

The church has offered to take care of gas money for us.  I will be fine taking care of meals surrounding the visit.  The one need we have is cash for the visit.  Once we are in the visiting room we cannot leave to eat nor can we bring food in with us.  They offer choices from "fancy" vending machines, but we need cash and apparently it is pricey.  We are allowed to bring $50 per day per adult and $20 per day per child.  My mother-in-law went a couple weekends ago and came home with no money.  She was able to pay for her food, some food for Chris, and five photos (at $2.00 each). 

I have two bills coming due this week that I'm feeling anxious about.  I know I shouldn't, that I should trust that God will provide, but honestly I'm just not sure about how they will get paid.  My cell phone bill is due now (like today) and the bill for calls from Chris is due in the next few days.  All total what is due is about $260.  I do not have anything right now except for a twenty dollar bill that I'm holding on to for dear life.  I have two small checks coming in this week, but Chris is needing some things so I feel like I need to make sure he is taken care of as well.  I usually put $50 a month on his books so that he can get his necessities.  That $50 ends up being just $22.50 as half is taken for restitution.

If anyone knows of any organizations that could help us please let me know.  I am working very hard to make sure our family will overcome this adversity, but right now I'm feeling fairly worthless and lonely.  I need to figure out how to get $90 by October 1st so that I can graduate college.  I will start on my graduate program in the middle of October.  I've had some criticism on my choice to not work a dead-end job right now in favor of going back to school, but I'm looking long-term.  Since it won't take me very long to get my master's degree and the fact that I can make so much more money once I have it seems like a no-brainer to me.  I have spent a lot of time in prayer over it and feel very strongly that this is what God has asked me to do.  Now I just need people praying my family is provided for during this time...and for anyone how might be able to help...that would be awesome.

So far I seem to only need help through the end of the year.  I should be able to pull out loans again at the first of the year.  I have been blessed with being able to work and pay for our bills up until this point.  Now I just need my community to come alongside me and help to get my family back on its feet.

Today it has been 11 months since I last hugged my husband.  This has been a rough day for me.  Every 23rd has me reliving that day.