This weekend we went to visit Chris. We left on Friday and it took us nearly five and a half hours to get there. As we approached Blythe we could see the lighted outline of the two prisons. It looked strangely beautiful in the dark. We arrived at our motel and began to get settled. We were all so exhausted that we watched one HGTV show, then went to sleep very early.
Saturday morning we woke up around 5am to get ready to go. We had breakfast at the motel then headed to the prison. I was anxious, but mostly I was ok. We had to wait in a line of cars because we got there early. It wasn't too long, though, and they started letting us in. We parked, then headed in to the visitors area to get checked in.
The first thing I noticed was the drastic differences in demeanor of the officers working there as opposed to the county jail. They were friendly, helpful, patient, and very gracious. A far cry from the guys at the jail who treated you as if you were a criminal just for visiting.
After checking in and making our way through the metal detectors we walked outside and headed toward the visitors center for Chris' building. Again the guards were kind and I felt comfortable going in. We checked in there and found a table. The girls and I, with my mom, got settled and waited for Chris.
He came out pretty soon and I was surprised that I wasn't super emotional. I was like, "Oh, look...there's my husband!" We hugged tight and he hugged everyone. He was emotional, but not as bad as we had thought he might be. We discussed later that it was weird because as soon as we saw each other it was like no time had passed. We were just picking up where we left off.
The day went fine, but it was a little tough because it was our first time and we didn't know what was ok and what was not ok. We had lunch together (I'll talk more about this later) and played some games. Around 2pm we left as the toddler was getting a bit fiesty (fiestier). It was tough to leave, but knowing I was coming back made it easier.
We stopped by the motel to change and decided to go head to Arizona. We drove to Quartzite, got gas, and decided to go home. There isn't a whole lot to do around those parts! We found a K-Mart and went shopping for a bit. My youngest two needed shoes, apparently they decided to grow out of their shoes right before the trip. We grabbed what we needed then drove around looking for a place to eat. Unfortunately we were in Blythe and there isn't a lot of variety. Denny's won out and bonus was kids eat free on Saturdays! So that was very nice.
We went back to the motel and went swimming. Then watched some History Channel, ate popcorn and shared some Hershey's chocolate, then went to bed.
Sunday was another early day and we packed up the room so that my parents could check out while we visited. The girls and I went on our own this time and it was nice to just be us. At first Chris was acting very distant. It was upsetting me and I fought tears a lot that day. While I spoke with him he kept staring off and looking around. That isn't like him. I suggested we get him something to eat thinking maybe he was hungry. As we were walking he was right behind me. I finally stopped and said, "You can walk next to me" and pulled his arm so he was standing where he needed to be. He looked confused and again I fought tears. A guard walked by and he snapped back into his position behind me. It was very upsetting. The good news is that once he had eaten his breakfast burrito, he became more like himself. I'm thinking that he had low-blood sugar or something and wasn't thinking straight...but, the sad thing is that it showed me the damage that has already been done. It tears me apart because those who know Chris know that he is a very friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. That guy was not who I saw in those moments. It was frightening.
We ended up sitting on the ground in an area where the kids can play freely. There was no one in there, so it was nice to be able to let the little ones play while we talked. He was able to play blocks with them and I know they loved it because Hannah keeps asking if we are going to go see Daddy. Breaks my heart, but I am thankful she wants to go see him!
We left around 1pm that day and it was really, really tough. I broke down sobbing. It felt like those moments before we walked into the courtroom to receive the verdict. I knew then that it would be the last hug for a long while. I didn't want to let him go. The same happened this time. I didn't want to let go and I felt weak at the thought of walking away from him. He hugged me more than what is allowed, but I think the guards knew it wasn't like he was trying to get fresh with me or anything. He was comforting me. I needed it so bad.
We hopped in the car with my parents and we left. It felt like my heart was being ripped from me as we drove away. I couldn't even tell my parents how the visit went. I just had to be quiet. Everytime I would think of him hugging me I would have to blink away tears. There was a point when I could breathe again, but it was pretty long before I could speak about it.
We did take some photos and I'll share them as soon as I can get them scanned into the computer. My scanner hasn't worked right for awhile, so I'll ask my mom to do it for me. The trip was very expensive. They weren't kidding about the prices! Each drink is $2 or more. Each of us drank about two bottles of something each day (which is really nothing when it's that hot out). That ended up being about $20 in drinks per day. The food was expensive, but after the first day we figured out that some things we could share. We each had a main item (sandwich, burrito, etc), we shared two bags of chips, then had our drinks. There is an ice cream machine and the first day everyone got their own. The second day we realized that Mary and I could share one, the little girls could get the popsicles that are cheaper (only Hannah likes that all-fruit bar which was $3) and we got Chris whatever he wanted. The first day he wanted the Haagen-Daz bar then he found out it was $5.50, so the next day he got the cheapest 50/50 bar. He felt really bad. But, honestly, it was something I could do to bless him and I wanted to do whatever I could.
We would like to plan two more visits; one in November and one in December. For the Thanksgiving visit we will actually stay home on Thanksgiving and let his mom and sister visit. We want to drive up early Friday and stay until Sunday. Then in December since Christmas is on a Tuesday, we'd like to drive up early on Friday and stay until Tuesday (leaving after visiting hours). We found a KOA that has "Kamping Kabins" and it's only seven minutes further than the motel. The motel did not feel safe enough for us to stay in and between the fact that we needed to eat out too much and the motel taxes, I think in the long run the KK's would be a better deal. There is security there and lots of things for the kids to do...including the Colorado River to play in! It is $127 per night (10% off for KOA Card holders...which we used to be...). Holidays are $20 more per night, so I'll have to find out about that. I'm going to be asking for people to give me cash for my birthday (November 27th) and Christmas that I can put toward these visits. My birthday will have to be an early present so that we can visit him on that weekend.
My hope is that we will be able to continue to stay at the same place so they will get to know us creating a community and a safer environment for us. We need prayers for money to be provided for these visits and that either my car will make it to see him, or I can somehow borrow a car that is more reliable. My car is very old and is currently making a loud squeeling noise in the wheel area. Remember how I just spent $1200 to get it fixed. Yeah. Fun for me. It's a different problem than what was fixed, but it just seems like if it's not one thing it's another.
Overall the trip was very good. It was very positive. It reminded us all of what we are missing and that was really hard. Praying hard for that appeal! We need him home with us where he belongs!
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