Blessed be He!

I've been having a really tough time lately and Chris challenged me today to focus only on the positive.  Part of the tough time is that it has been one year since he was taken from me.  The feel of the air outside, the way the sun shines, and the gently Fall breeze in the air brings me back to the days of the trial.  I'm working hard at saying, "Wow!  Look!  We made it one full year!", but in the back of my head I hear a small voice reminding me of the long road ahead.

And through my sorrow and pain I'm reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies.  It is a Jewish movie called "Ushpizin" and when the Rabbi asks the title character how he is doing he responds with, "Terrible, Blessed be He".  Chris and I often laugh and say, "How are we doing?  Horrible!  Praise God!" 

The truth is that neither of us are truly doing horribly.  Yes, Chris is in prison.  Yes, we miss him like crazy.  Yes, this is not even remotely ideal.  Yes, we are struggling tremendously with finances.  I'm sure I could make a decent list for you of all the things that are "wrong" with life at the moment, but I'm chosing to re-focus my eyes back on what really, truly matters.

Our girls are doing better and better as time goes by.  It will never be easy for them and they will always mourn this time lost, but I have seen great changes in them.  Mary and Bethany have been very involved in dance classes, Hannah is taking one class per week.  These classes have ended up being free to us through the blessing of others who see that my girls need this time to build their confidence, encourage their creativity, and even more to praise God.  Each of their classes is taught by a beautiful, strong woman of God and I feel insanely blessed that they have been able to dance and worship with these women.

Mary has been able to continue horse lessons by working for them.  She is working a few hours at the stables in exchange for lessons.  It has been emotional for her as she works because she is learning not only about the care and feeding of the horses, but also their have been huge spiritual and life lessons for her.  I'm now beginning to think the work part of the deal is what is going to save her.  It was pretty dark there in the beginning of this and I'm truly thankful for the beautiful ladies who are supporting her efforts in this venture. 

I have just started a Greek class and start another class, "Critical Thinking", this Monday.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this with having a curious three-year-old wanting to play with my flash cards and insisting on rearranging my desk every time I sit down to watch a lecture, but I have faith that this is where God needs me.  At the end of this eight week period (actually about six and a half weeks from now), I will be graduated with a B.A. in Ministry and already one class into my M.A. in Biblical Studies.  I'm very, very excited about it and am thinking maybe I should hang my G.E.D. certificate right next to my college diplomas just to show how far I've come.

Now, on to Chris...which I know you all are really interested in knowing about! 

Chris is tutoring inmates for their G.E.D.s.  He is also becoming more and more involved in Bible Studies and church.  He is currently an usher, but several of the inmates have encouraged him toward teaching.  Several are surprised he is not already a pastor.  Well.  Isn't that interesting?  Since the day I met Chris I felt that God needed him as a pastor.  He has never felt "good" enough.  In each facility he has been in, from county jail, to processing, to where he is now, he has had several men come up to him to encourage him toward pastoring.  Now he is being challenged to write a Bible study.  I'm so insanely proud of my husband it's actually a bit ridiculous.  (lol)

As far as the appeal is concerned we are still waiting.  Apparently the prosecuter's office has responded to our initial brief and it really wasn't a strong response.  Our attorney filed a response to their response and according to Chris it was pretty amazing.  Chris feels like this guy is really fighting for him.  It's about time someone fights for him!  (Just deleted rant regarding our trial attorney.  Focus.  Stay focused, Marcella!)

As of right now our prayers are for a successful appeal.  We are praying that finances will be provided for as I fight my way through the next few months.  My car has been making a strange sound and is stalling from time to time, so we're praying for that situation.  And overall we are praising God for His many, many, many blessings in our lives.